Misused and Mislead

Failures and rejections, like storm, are all around me,

They are everywhere, their noises in my head

Hitting it with stronger rocks,

Hurting my heart though, 

Leaving it in pools of blood each time I try harder

Pushing me aside and suddenly drawing a silent border 

What have I done to myself? 

What have I become?

What happened to all that intellectuality,

That I learned through tough experiences?

Was it my fears, or hatred for life?

Or my overwhelming love for someone who left me behind?

Was it my insecurities that are now,

Making me crave for something that’s not possible on earth?

Is it my mistake to trust a friend, 

To be my special ones and be worth?

Of course it was a disaster

The unbearable dearest secret, 

Has always been a disaster,

The danger when only one of us feels it delicate.

Going over and over afterward,

What we should have done,

Instead of what we actually did.

But for those short times, 

We seemed to be perfectly alive.

Misled, misused, lied to and certainly cheated,

Still hoping that, that little while at least,

You really loved me with your heart and soul.

And all those things you said to me,

You meant them with no games played foul.