Febah Martin

       They ask, "Hey, how are you doing?". I say, "Am alright, thanks". But my eyes always told a different story, my heart sang a different tune, my soul just wept. I always wished they matched to what I usually projected about my being alright. I miss the old ME, the happy me, the bright me, the laughing me, the GONE me. They say, "You are unnecessarily wasting your time on someone who cannot be with you in this life again". They keep reminding me how stupidly I behave in the name of love. At some point,  you have to realise that some people can stay in your heart forever, but not in your life. They are meant to be somewhere else, not beside you when you wake up.       Am exhausted from trying to be stronger than I feel. I hate getting flashbacks from things I don't want to remember. I feel so helpless and powerless though everything seems possible to me. Sick of crying, tired of trying, yes, am smiling but from inside, am dyi...

They say, when God closes one door, he opens another one for you. Or is it, when all doors close on you, God opens a window for you? Whatever, I wonder if that’s a cycle! When I thought all my doors closed locking me inside, I had no way to escape, from the situations, the circumstances I was surrounded by, that drowned me deep in depression, no way out at all, that I would die crying and crying to dehydrate all of the blood from my body, crying all by myself so loud in that dark room of solitude, forgetting to even breathe at times, ignoring God’s existence, forgetting the fact that He’s been watching me all the while, I heard some sound somewhere. It was more like a hard tapping noise. Like somebody purposefully hitting on a wooden window! I forgot how any sound sounded like, except for my loud sobs and cries. But this sound trapped my ear. I lifted up my eyes, for the first time again in months, and gathered my courage to look at where the sound came from. It was a w...

Happiness cannot be travelled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is a spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude. The key to being happy is knowing that you have the power to choose what to accept and what to let go. Happiness doesn't depend on what you have or who you are. It solely relies on what you think. With the right person, you don't have to work so hard to get their attention or be happy. It happens effortlessly. So stop chasing people. Choose people who choose you because they know how to keep you happy. Be with those friends who want you in their lives because they can bring back your smiles when you are low. Work where your heart is because it gives you peace of mind.                       A sure way to lose happiness is to want it at the cost of everything else. Take a minute and analyse. Is that person or thing worth enough your sacrifice? Because love is when the o...

Self-absorbed people often don't realise how selfish they have become. They will love you only as much as they need you or are done using you. Their communication ends where the benefits stop. Sometimes it's just because they get bored easily. Once their needs change, so does their interest in you. How do you know if they are selfish or true? Having trouble spotting them? It's very easy. It's about their schedule, it's about their work, it's about their family, it's about their goals, it's about their feelings, it's about their ideas, it's about their perspective, it's about their convenience, it's about their this and that. The list goes on. Family is more of blood. It's understood. Friendship is everyday. Not just whenever it's convenient. Anyone can say they care. Watch their actions. Especially when they are your family or close friends. Family needs no clock to show up. Friends need no excuses to care. Selfish people lose s...

If someone can fall asleep without checking on you knowing that you are crying or in need, then sure you know that the person doesn't care at all. It will be foolishness to expect anything from them at all. Because where love is, there comes care and concern for you under any circumstances. They keep a constant check on you. They cannot rest till they are assured that you are ok. You become their priority even from a distance. If it's not happening that way from the ones you trusted the most, don't worry. Sometimes you just have to turn around, give a smile, throw a match and burn that bridge. Because if you don't, the next day morning, in their leisure, they remind you of their care and concern out of their busy schedules and make you walk back on the same bridge for them. You are only going to get as good as the people you surround yourself with. So be brave enough to let go of those who keep weighing you down knowing your worth. Sometimes you get the best light fro...

Too often, we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. Not everyone will have the heart you have, not everyone will appreciate you and what you do for them. It won't be easy having a kind heart in a cruel world. But be prepared. Take up the challenges. You can have all the degrees in the world but, if you don't have a hustler's mentality, ambition and common sense, you will be lost. You need to stop doing the things for someone when you find out that it makes no difference to them. People never seem to appreciate what you do for them as long as they don't earn it. Don't let your loyalty become your slavery. Don't lose your dignity and self respect trying to make people love and appreciate you when they aren't just capable of it. If they miss you, they will call. If they really want you, they will say it without any h...

Do not love a friend who constantly hurts you. Do not hurt a friend who loves you no matter what. You can sacrifice up everything for a good friend. But do not ever sacrifice a good friend for anything. As we grow up, we realise that it's less important to have lots of friends and more important to choose the real ones who turn into your best friends for life. Love doesn't hurt. Lying, cheating or playing with people's emotions hurt the most. If you succeed in cheating someone, don't think that you are smarter or the other person is a fool. Realise that the person trusted you much more than you deserved. Nothing hurts more than being disappointed by the friend or any person you thought would never hurt you. It takes a long time to build up trust but few moments to break it. When people treat you like they don't care, believe them. Save your time. They really don't care. Don't make friends before understanding, and don't break a friendship after misunde...

Whenever you find yourself doubting how far you have gone, remember how far you have come. Remember everything you have faced, all the battles you have won, all the fears you have overcome. Stop doubting yourself and believe that nothing is impossible. It may take time but it's possible. Doubting kills your dreams more than failure ever will. We often want something so badly that we ruin it before it begins. Overthinking, fantasizing, imagining, expecting, worrying, doubting. You have to let it naturally evolve. Be it for something or someone. If it's for something, just stop worrying and stay focused. You will see results positively. But if it's for someone, then rethink. The wrong person makes you beg for attention, affection, love and commitment. The right person give you these things because they love you. Love doesn't die because of distance. It dies because of doubts. Being single is so much better than being in a relationship with someone who fills your heart w...

Relationship with a nice person is like a sugarcane. You break it, crush it, squeeze it, even beat or grind it, still you will only get sweetness. But remember, there is a point after all that where it loses it's sweetness forever and can only be burnt off. So, enjoy their sweetness always and never let them become useless to the rest of the world by burning them down with your recklessness.  Cheers, Febah Martin  Writer & Rapper.

I can't tell you exactly the key to success. But I know the key to failure. It is nothing but trying to please everyone. Don't forget that each individual is different and so does his opinion about you. I don't know about your next life. But surely, your this life is not even sufficient to please 1/100th of the people you meet on earth. Nobody can talk much even if they want to, when they see your success. So stop focusing on pleasing people and start focusing on your goals.  Cheers, FEBAH MARTIN  Writer & Rapper.

The world is not dangerous because of those who do harm, but because of those who look at it and do nothing. Somewhere in our pursuit of being a better Christian, Hindu, Muslim, Buddhist, Jew, etc, we've forgotten to be human beings, and what it means to genuinely love and respect one another. Being human and expressing a common concern for humanity is a prerequisite to membership in any religious faith. Even if you believe in no religion, you are still a human with a heart. Let your heart beat be meaningful, not just for a survival. Have a mesmerising Monday.  Cheers, FEBAH MARTIN  Writer & Rapper

If plan A didn't work, then there are still 25 letters left. Just because you are struggling doesn't mean that you are failing. It means that you are strong enough to fight a tough time. In the end, we only regret the chances we did not take, relationship we are always afraid to have, and the decisions we waited for too long time to take. Instead of complaining that you woke up in pains and sadness, start thanking God that you at least woke up. Being alive is more important. Have a great morning. Cheers,  Febah Martin  Writer & Rapper.

Never underestimate the pain of a person. Because in all honesty, everyone is struggling with something or the other. Just show it up quick, some take time to open up, some are good at hiding it better and some, they just smile it off and you have no idea they have bigger problems in their lives than your own. They just learned to smile through their difficulties because they know life is short and living itself is the biggest challenge. Rest all things are very small to deal with if you are just alive. Life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% of how you react to it. Be patient in learning, quick in forgiving, easy in loving and genuine in caring. Then you have accepted life the way it is to be and only then you will live a meaning life.  Have a wonderful Wednesday. Cheers, FEBAH MARTIN  Writer & Rapper.

Sometimes we expect more from others because we would be willing to do that much for them. Just because somebody does not love you the way you want them to love you, doesn't mean that they don't love you with all that they have. Don't blame them for disappointing you but blame yourself for expecting too much from them. People are not here to meet your expectations. They have their own things to deal with other than you. Don't expect things to happen the way you want to and people to behave the way you expected them to. We are only creating our own heartbreaks through these expectations. Peace and happiness begins where your expectations from others end. Isn't it better to feel surprised than to be disappointed? Go ahead. Expect as much as you want to from yourself. It will set goals in front of you to focus and achieve.  Have a thrilling Thursday.  Cheers, FEBAH MARTIN  Writer & Rapper.

The biggest communication problem is that we don't listen to understand. We listen to reply. People generally see only what they look for. Don't judge a person without a full understanding of the situation. Just because you don't agree to what they say, doesn't mean you are right. There are some people who could hear you speak a thousand words and still not understand you, and then, there are those people who understands you perfectly even when you don't speak a word. To them sometimes, being understanding is more important than being right. We need not a brilliant mind that speaks logics but a patient heart that will listen. Not keen eyes that can see the negatives but arms that can accept. Not fingers that point out but gentle hands that can hold them to comfort them. Because people don't always need an advice. Sometimes all they really need is a hand to hold, ear to listen, and a heart to understand them. Maturity is not when we talk big things. It's wh...

Don't compare yourself to others ever. That's a battle you can never win. A flower does not think of competing itself to the one next to it. It just blooms in its own way. Comparison is the thief of joy. You might be at the start of doing something great or becoming a great human being. Don't let other person's progress discourage you. You sure won't enjoy yourself in the name of success even when you win. Because that's like you just won a jealousy reward to yourself. I don't call that a success at all. Just be confident in whatever you do and you bloom from within automatically. Too many days are wasted comparing ourselves to others and wishing to be something we aren't. Just be yourself. It's only when you accept your true self with all your positives and negatives, with all that you have and you are, that you truly succeed in life. Have a Sizzling Saturday.  Cheers, FEBAH MARTIN Writer & Rapper.

Captivity is slavery. Don't become captivated by captivity. There is no beauty in stolen freedom. Love that is sought as an escape from the burden of the self, turns rapidly into captivity. All the intelligence and talent in the world can't make you an achiever. Your heart is a wild thing. It can't be bred in captivity. We always speak about freedom. But what are we in reality? We all are captives of our own identities, living in prisons of our own creations. Each individual's creation varies. For some it is family, for some it is friends, for some career, for some love, etc. We become so foolish to realise the difference between responsibilities and captivities. We turn our responsibilities into captivities with self defined justifications, further complicating our inner souls to enjoy the freedom of life. Have responsibilities towards your objectives. But let them not ruin your real self. Go back to few months of your life and review. If there is anything in your li...

In human relationships, distance is not measured in miles but in affection. Two people can be right next to each other and still miles apart. Two things can destroy any beautiful relationship. Unrealistic expectations and poor communications. A true relationship is two people two imperfect people refusing to give up on each other. You will understand if the other person loves you looking at the amount of time (s)he wants to invest in you. Because money spent is meaningless but time spent is priceless. If you love someone, set them free. Because if the feelings are mutual, the efforts are equal. And the best feeling in this world is to be with the person who wants you in their life as much as you want them in your life. Don't strive for a relationship from someone who doesn't deserve you. Accept the ones who loves you no matter what.  Have a mesmerising Monday.  Cheers, FEBAH MARTIN  Writer, Composer & Rapper.

Love is an unconditional commitment to an imperfect person. To love isn't just a strong feeling towards someone or something. It's a decision, a judgment and a promise. When someone else's happiness is more important than yours, that's love without any doubt. When someone really loves you, no matter how many people may come their way, their feelings would only grow stronger for you. Their feelings won't change. Neither can they be stolen or be replaced by someone else. But if they did, you know that it's a momentary decision you have taken and compromised to live by it. Learn to love without conditions, talk without any negative intentions, give without reasons, and above all, care without expectations. Spend time with those that love you unconditionally. Don't waste it on those that love you when the conditions are right for them. It's not worth getting hurt for someone who doesn't know your worth. And it's worth getting hurt by someone to who...

One's greatest challenge is to control oneself. He that respects himself is safe from others. The moment you lose your self control, that is the moment you fall in your heart. Never let your emotions overpower your intelligence. You are always responsible for how you act, not how you feel. Remember that. The person who masters in self control and discipline is un-defeatable. Self control is strength. Right thought is mastery. Calmness is power. Never do something permanently foolish just because you are temporarily upset. Learn to master your emotions.  Have a Wonderous Wednesday. Cheers, FEBAH MARTIN  Writer, Composer & Rapper.

Friends are the family you get to choose for yourself. To real friends, you become the first family. If they want you in their life, they'll put you there. You shouldn't have to fight for a spot. Make your home a place where you treat your friends like family and your family like friends. Family isn't always blood. It's the people in your life who want you in theirs, the ones who accept you for who you are, the ones who would do anything to make you happy and who love you no matter what. I've learned, that it is not what I have in life but it's who we have in life who are really ready to take a bullet for you. Never ignore them because they are the ones who will be loyal to you in your time of need.  Have a Thrilling Thursday. Cheers, FEBAH MARTIN  Writer, Composer & Rapper.

Don't ever allow your family or friends to come between your spouse or you. Don't associate with anyone who hates, disrespects or dishonours your spouse. Make them clearly understand that no matter what, your spouse and you are one. Anyone who truly cares about you will honour your choice of spouse and will treat your spouse with dignity and respect. Anyone who comes to you and gossips about your spouse is trying to sow a seed of division in your marriage, stop them immediately. Shield your narrative. Protect your spouse's image, respect and reputation. Stand up in defence of each other. That's the bond that will last till your last breath on the earth. Rest all will come and go because they won't know your body and mind at the same time as much as your spouse knows about you. Not even your parents. Give your best, do your most, Stay no matter what.  Have a Fascinating Friday. Cheers, FEBAH MARTIN Writer, Composer & Rapper.

Life is a constant conflict between love and ego. Love always wants to say sorry and ego always awaits to hear it. Love, to be real, must cost. It must hurt, and must empty us from of self. It has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get, only with what you are expecting to give, which is everything. It's not something you go out and look for, or something something that you are imposed onto by your family. Real love finds you by itself. And when it does, ready or not, it will be the best thing that will ever happen to you. Because real love can never think selfish.  Have a scintillating Saturday. Cheers, FEBAH MARTIN  Writer, Composer & Rapper.

I used to think that friends were the people that you could laugh and talk to. Now I know that friends aren't just that, they are the people that touch your heart. They are the people whom you can share your secrets with, cry with, laugh with, and just have fun with. They don't judge you or make you change your real you. They accept you the way you are.  Hope you had a serene Sunday. Cheers, FEBAH MARTIN  Writer, Composer & Rapper.

No one is busy in this world for you. It's all about priorities. You know what place they have in your heart when you are not ready to give someone your precious time, especially when they needed it. It doesn't matter how close they aren't e to you in real life. Likewise, you know what place you have in their hearts when you don't get their time too. Logic is simple here. Everything is important in this life. Family, friends, career, health, wealth, personal space, etc. Set your priorities straight. Straight to what's more important in your life. Not what's wanted but what's needed. That's the secret to a peaceful and happy life.r Have a mesmerising Monday. Cheers, FEBAH MARTIN Writer, Composer & Rapper.

Not everyone will appreciates what you do for them. You have to figure out who is worth your kindness and who's just taking advantage of you. Because in this materialistic world, people want your time for their needs but not ready to give you time when you need it, people need you to love them but not ready to reciprocate your love, people want you to take a bullet for them but they can't take a stick for you, etc. Remember, it's not as easy as reading or writing quotes. Your Actions also speak when you expect such results.  Have a testifying Tuesday.  Cheers,  FEBAH MARTIN  Writer, Composer & Rapper.

When life gets harder, challenge yourself to be stronger. It's not easy but, it's possible if you try. Because challenges don't destroy you. They promote your intelligence, increase your strength and develop your willpower. Challenges are what make life interesting and overcoming them is what makes life meaningful. Remember, the greatest challenge in life is to discover yourself. The second greatest is to be happy with what you find.  Have a Wacky Wednesday.  Cheers,  FEBAH MARTIN  Writer, Composer & Rapper.

Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option. Best friends can be separated by priorities. So set your priorities carefully. When someone tells you they are too busy to check on you, it's not the reflection of their schedules. It's the reflection of your spot in their schedules. Because no matter how busy a person gets, if you really mattered to them, they'd always find a way to communicate. There comes a time when you have to stop crossing oceans for those people who wouldn't even jump a puddle for you. Family comes first but it's not always about blood. Remember, it's a best friend that stands by you even when your family abandons you for your own mistakes. 

Many things aren't equal to even closest friends. But there is something that's equal to all. TIME. Even your enemies get the same 7 days a week and 24 hours a day just like you do. We make time for what we truly want, no matter it seems impossible. We show care for someone, because we have deep concerns for them. Perception shapes priorities and priorities shape people. The best way to deal with your backbiters or enemies is to effectively use your time. That's the best way to take revenge on anyone. Just the way it's strange how some stranger can suddenly become the most important person in your life, it's also a strange fact how a closest friend can suddenly turn out to be a stranger. Beware and be watchful. Don't let doubtful relationships or matters consume your precious time. Use it wisely and effectively to enjoy a peaceful life.