Febah Martin

At moments of intense happiness and joy, Many promises to me you made, Gave you myself expecting you in return,  And yet for this loneliness I paid. I made some promises too,  I kept to the end, Not realising that your love can fade. How can I let you go off my mind, When my heart is totally in your shade? I waited for months for your promises to happen, But as time passed cutting me like a blade, I kept waiting and waiting, may be you forgot, My expectations of those reached a higher grade. May be you thought that it was normal to me, My emotions, you set them on trade. My expectations you kept aside for your selfishness, They’re just blind memories that stayed. You just made random statements back then, Now those promises to my broken heart raid.  Lost mind, now totally depressed and confused, I am so wasted, busted and loneliness weighed.

I can never forget... The anxiety in your voice when I called you, The love in your eyes when I met you,  The warmth in your body when I hugged you, The pain on your mind when I shed tears, The silence in your voice when I kissed you,  The joy in your heart when I smiled at you, The doubt in your conscience when I said goodbye. You know I love you  Way too much than I should What more can I say now?  It’s clear you admire me in secret, Way more than I can imagine Way more than your words can express Way more than our friendship can bear Way more than my heart’s silent weeping... Though you are too stubborn to confess, I know you will miss me forever  I know your heart will weep too I know your eyes will long for me I felt the shivering in your voice  When you said, “I don’t know if we meet again” When you slapped my cheek helplessly When you shook my hand for a moment  And your love for me forever bid bye.

"No matter what happens, we'll never be strangers." Days like this i wonder how you're doing.  Surely we could send each other a text, but it becomes archaic.  You and I. We used to talk under the stars. Laughing till our faces turn blue. I kept all your gifts. A polaroid of us. Memories. Buried in a box. Safe,like how you used to make me feel.  A year ago, You came up to me. Like a dream. The kind that always leaves. A year later, You left me broken. Like a record. I watched you grow. Like a lotus flower that grows out of the mud. Slowly blossoms and rise above the muddy surface. Now. Im left with only memories of us. Stored away in the back of my mind. So nights like this. When i need you most.  I reminisce all the good memories we had. With tired eyes, tired mind, tired soul. Just so you know. If ever,in future you need me. You don't have to call me. Or drop a text. J