Love or Attachment?

Often we confuse ourselves between Love and Attachment. Attachment is the great fabricator of illusions; reality can be obtained only by someone who is detached. Attachment is also a kind of agreement or bondage that happens over a certain period of time with some understanding and learning. And you get used to it so much as it's immediately available to you or is in front of your eyes most of the time. Generally, these attachments are between registered individuals or objects like family or places. There is certainly some love, but it is more of an attachment here. Because the theory is simple. It is beyond your control. Above all, you are afraid of losing it because it is something you paid a price for in some form. Like blood, money, time, efforts, etc and that price is un-calculable. Many a times, you are way too concerned about so many other things around that you don't want to be insecured about or be blamed for. So it's not easy to give up on these attachments. 

Whereas love just happens, and is controllable. It simply means sacrificing oneself with all that you are just to be able to see your loved ones happy. It means that you silently care more about someone else's happiness than your own, no matter how much pain it may bring to you. 

Love should never be a hide and seek game between two people: it's true only when both lovers seek each other. No matter what kind of love it is or with whom it is. It can be between wife husband, father son, mother daughter, sister brother, two friends, or just between two unregistered individuals. But since love is freely available, we control it with our own perceptions and conclusions. We fail to recognise the value of it. When we lose it, pathetically we cover it up in the name of ego and self pride. If there are instances where you hesitated in doubt or mistrust to share anything with that person you felt you loved, then you definitely played a safe game in the name of love. You need to mind your actions certainly.

Once someone told me, "You love me more". I simply replied, "I don't know how to love someone more or less. I only know that I love you". Do you know if someone loves you surely? Or, are you just being used by a friend or a family member or a once stranger? It's not very simple to identify such person as they always wear a mask of a well wisher. But like they say time heals everything, time also teaches us a lot of things.  

Some people aren't loyal to you. They are loyal to their need of you. Once their needs change or end, so does their loyalty and gradually their time for you too. The real problems they managed earlier to give you more than just needed time, will become fake excuses to avoid any further disappointments they know they cause. The attachment with you they project till they got their needs fulfilled, will fade away with each passing day. Their once conversations filled with promises of standing by your side no matter what, will now turn to blame games for not being there. They cut off the real loving person in you for fake reasons, and the worst part is that they don't even regret it. For them, it's just a safe game they always play with an assured success. You might have lost their well-played game for  now, but that's not the end. What goes around, comes around. And with a greater force. We call it Karma. 

I have come across many friends, family members or colleagues who are too selfish and they don't even regret for being so. In fact, through self justification, they don't even realise how much they hurt others. We should rather prefer to stay alone or stay away from such people because loneliness or being friendless is definitely better than a loveless friendship. Someone who has money and chooses to spend on you means nothing. But someone with no time finds a way to spend time with you means everything. A genuinely caring person will always make that time for you because for that person, spending time with you is more important than their routine schedules. Maintaining a great relationship with you by being there for you is more important than a mere official meeting that can be managed for later. It very well justifies the famous statement, 'where there is a will there is a way'. You don't need to waste your time on someone who only wants you around when it fits their time or needs. It simply means that they don't value your time, hence they don't value you. We should learn to detach ourselves from such people. Detachment means letting go and nonattachment means simply letting be. The secret self knows the anguish of our attachments and assures us that, letting go of what we think we must have to be happy, is the same as letting go of our unhappiness.

So, do you want to be loved or just be attached to someone for your lifetime? Love to be loved.