SHE IS BEAUTIFUL

She woke up early as she was super excited about her first annual sports day in the school. Of course she will be. After all, she worked so hard for it. She finished all her homework and revisions before time throughout the last month just to be able to get those extra hours in the playground to learn all the skills of the games she wanted to participate on this particular day. She quickly knelt down on her bunk bed and uttered her routine prayers. She then pulled out an empty inland letter from the Bible that hid under the pillow. Her tiny little hands quickly drafted a letter to her most loved man on earth. 

"10 February, 1989. 

Daddy, I am participating in 10 games today. Bring me more candies than before because I will show you all 10 prices I will win when you come to visit me next month for my 7th birthday. I promise I will make you proud. I want to get ready now. That's all for this time. I love you. 

Yours loving daughter, 

April."

She got ready in minutes and ran out to the gate to meet her favourite person in the compound. The watchman threw his arms around her and lifted her up into the air. He brought out from his pocket her favourite butter biscuit and put her down kissing her cheek. She grabbed her gift, kissed him back and ran at once shouting, "Watchman uncle, keep 10 butter biscuits ready for tomorrow morning". The confidence that came out of the preparations she had, kept her active and energetic all day. She gave a tough competition to all her co-participants and surprised everyone with her winnings. They all thought she was a total bookworm and could only top in the class. She surprised them just a week earlier with her creative skills in painting, music and dance competitions held in advance for the school's annual day celebrations that year. They were shocked to know she had it all. As the long day finished, she got into the school bus with the winner attitude. The sports coach initiated claps and everyone clapped loud for her. With the proudest smile she ever carried on her face, she went to take her seat in the last row. It was her turn to get shocked as the watchman welcomed her with a box of butter biscuits. She at once jumped on to his laps and opened the box. As she finished the butter biscuits one by one, she thought of the cans of candies her daddy should bring for her next month. She decided to write a letter to daddy as soon as she reached her dormitory.

"26 February, 1989.

Daddy, I don't know if you received my last letter. As promised, I won all the games I played. But I fell sick in the school bus that evening after watchman uncle played some new game with me along with the football coach, bus driver uncle and the music teacher. I don't know the name of the game but it hurt me very bad. I did not like it at all. They all brought out some small sticks from their pant front pockets and hit me on my back one by one. I cried and told them that I don't want to play. But they did not stop at all. I saw blood and fell down. I don't remember more. I came back to the hostel today only. Principal sir and English madam told me that I had blood motions and asked me not to tell anybody about it because it is shame shame. I promised them that I won't tell anybody. But I will tell you because you are a doctor. I did not see watchman uncle at the gate when I entered. I want to tell him that I don't want his butter biscuits anymore. When you come next month for my birthday, please bring me some blood motion tablets. Because I cannot poo. I cannot sit also. It is paining there a lot daddy. I cannot even wear the sunflower panty mommy gifted me for the new year or all those grandma made for me. English madam told me that I should wait for few more days to wear any of my clothes. I want to come home daddy. I don't like the watchman uncle anymore. I don't like the football coach, bus driver uncle and my music teacher also. English madam gave me lot of chocolates just now. Principal sir is very nice to me. He gave me a separate room. It has a TV also. He put Tom and Jerry in it. He told me that I will get all my 10 prizes very soon. He told me that many more prizes are waiting for me. But I don't want to stay here daddy. I don't want to play and win any games again. I don't want to paint, sing or dance also. I don't want to come first in class. I just want to come home. Daddy, can you come and take me home? I want to see you. I have to take some tablets. So that's all for now. I love you. 

Yours loving daughter, 

April"

She wrote her first longest letter of her life. Her little hands managed to pen down her innocent emotions. The pure heart's love for her dad poured out her pain on a paper. Her immature mind failed to realise then the cruel games she was played. All she felt was the physical pain that she was unable to bear, and all she wanted was her dad's help to reduce the pain. 

Well, she got the help she needed for then. Her dad rushed to her at once along with some cops the moment he read the letter. The suspended culprits were fetched and punished. So did the Principal sir and the English madam. The little angel was brought home for further medical assistance. But the word fast spread in the society like a fire in the forest. Developing media printed her bitter chapter. They changed her from one hiding place to the other. The innocent heart only felt a longing for her dad but did not understand the reasons behind. She did not know why she had to stay far away from her own family. She could not make new friends. She wanted to scream and ask everyone what her mistake was and why her close friends did not speak to her again. It was indeed too a long period before she reached that maturity level to understand what happened to her back then. Growing up year by year, she understood those games played with her and she by default hated those properties that left her to bleed. She hated the manhood to an extent that she could no more sit in her daddy's lap or kiss him the way she used to. The damage has been done already. She lost her trust in men, in all men. Her feelings never arose for them again during her adolescence. She silently fought with her insecurities every day and night. She adapted a different lifestyle. She lived in loneliness most of the time to overcome those terrifying thoughts. She preferred darkness over light. Her smiles vanished. She could not be happy again. She tried to forget everything and start afresh. But the wounds reminded her the hurting past every time she got a nature call. The scars revived her maturing mind with fearful images. She suffered from the daily fights happening within her mind. Affections seemed very fake. But her financial dependence and her tender teenage made her fake her normal existence. She purposefully made wrong choices in her life. She chose to hurt the hearts of all those men that approached her in the name of love. She punished herself without her knowledge. Her family lost trust in her abilities. They thought she was no more sane. The psychological treatment she underwent for months did not change her, neither did her early marriage. 

But as they say 'time heals', she learnt her lessons. In a very tough way, but she learnt them by herself. She fought all those crazy circumstances that came her way and nagged her to discouraged life. She stood there alone wondering if she ever can get through this. She naturally became strong through self healing. She started to smile at any tough situation. She converted her confusion to creativity. She focused on the positive aspects of life. She realised the purpose of her survival. She started to be grateful for this life. She changed her plans for life. She started her life instead of the mere existence she was in. A day came in her life when she saw the spark of love in the eyes of one man that changed her, that changed the way she looked at men. She finally fell in love with the man and with herself too. She trusted him enough to serve him her body, mind and soul willfully. 

She was beautiful, but not like those girls in the magazines. She was beautiful, for the way she thought. She was beautiful, for the sparkle in her eyes when she talked about something she loved. She was beautiful, for the ability to make other people smile, even if she was sad. She was beautiful, deep down to her soul. She is beautiful. 

SHE MIGHT'VE BEEN ABUSED BUT SHE IS AN ANGEL 

She uses her special powers to care and comfort,

A listener who knows what in you needs to convert

Who loves first and always values what you feel,

To help herself from hatred and for those traumas to heal.

Her gentle sensible words alleviate pain

Easing scariest memories that brain did contain 

She soothes everyday unfailingly the body and mind,

Guiding you to mend scars that you tend to find.

Her presence and protection instils a calmness,

Your walls of fears will finally be powerless.

Creating a safe place to be your true self,

Allowing honesty to prevail from its delf.

Her calming voice quietly floods through the air,

With positivity and reassurance she will declare

Giving you dignity while revealing her shameful past,

As you share the darkest secrets, her tears will blast

She uses her force field to shield the inner child,

To bring down your shame and humiliation to mild

She gives strength and saves you from your loneliness,

Holding you tight in her arms so that you can express.

She gives reassuring hugs so you are not alone,

Securing and relieving fear of herself and your own.

While infusing confidence she guides you through,

Giving you courage and self belief to fight those few.

The power of her smile that reassures you it's safe,

To reveal the horrors that have caused so much chafe.

The gentle nod that lets you know it's ok to say,

That have been silenced for decades and you interplay.

She is armed with colouring pens that never freak,

To release the words that are too painful to speak.

And tissues to mop up those puddles of sadness,

So nothing is hidden, when she challenged to seek.

Her intuition is like a clear x-ray vision,

Enabling her to see into the soul with a collision.

With her skills and talents she defeats the enemy daily,

Giving survivors back control and power to be gaily.

She is a true angel you'll hardly find on Earth,

Who heals using her special love and again makes you worth.

To support and repair broken unspoken souls,

Doing her best to give, sets those lovely goals.